Rather a lot of songs begin with this admonition, and the young lady with the weapon (she was actually selling hosiery, but who’s to know?) might be in a mood to enforce it. My first search for “Don’t” songs produced a list of nearly eight hundred; restricting it to those actually beginning with “Don’t” cut it back by three-fourths, and these were the ones that made the final, um, cut.

Track listing for 111130-2:

1. Electric Light Orchestra: Don’t Let Me Down
2. Elvis Presley: Don’t Be Cruel
3. Patty Duke: Don’t Just Stand There
4. Joe South: Don’t It Make You Want to Go Home
5. Herman’s Hermits: Don’t Go Out into the Rain
6. Beverly Bremers: Don’t Say You Don’t Remember
7. The Orlons: Don’t Hang Up
8. The Beach Boys: Don’t Worry Baby
9. The Beatles: Don’t Let Me Down
10. The Marvelettes: Don’t Mess with Bill
11. Paul Revere and the Raiders: Don’t Take It So Hard
12. Bettye Swann: Don’t Touch Me
13. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Don’t Do Me Like That
14. The Animals: Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood
15. Petula Clark: Don’t Give Up
16. Crowded House: Don’t Dream It’s Over
17. Gerry and the Pacemakers: Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying
18. Peppermint Rainbow: Don’t Wake Me Up in the Morning, Michael
19. Elton John: Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me
20. Della Reese: Don’t You Know
21. The Human League: Don’t You Want Me
22. The Searchers: Don’t Throw Your Love Away
23. The Buckinghams: Don’t You Care
24. Dionne Warwick: Don’t Make Me Over
25. Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds: Don’t Pull Your Love
26. The Band: Don’t Do It

Because I can, again yet another collection of songs that are seldom heard in stereo, with yet another variation on the same cover art. This includes rather a lot of DES — “Digitally Extracted Stereo” — which is essentially fakery, but often really good fakery. One such (no points for guessing which one) actually made it to a commercial release.

Track listing for 111129-2:

1. The Surfaris: Wipe Out
2. Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich: Save Me
3. The Crystals: He’s Sure the Boy I Love
4. The Beach Boys: Help Me, Rhonda
5. The Essex: A Walkin’ Miracle
6. Procol Harum: A Whiter Shade of Pale
7. Bill Justis: Raunchy
8. The Zombies: She’s Not There
9. The Dave Clark Five: Because
10. Diane Renay: Kiss Me, Sailor
11. The Marvelows: I Do
12. Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames: Yeh, Yeh
13. Jerry Butler and Betty Everett: Let It Be Me
14. Leapy Lee: Little Arrows
15. The Dixie Cups: Iko Iko
16. Jimmy Reed: Big Boss Man
17. Spencer Davis Group: I’m a Man
18. Terry Stafford: Suspicion
19. Senators Bobby and McKinley: Mellow Yellow
20. Neil Diamond: You Got to Me
21. Sam Cooke: Wonderful World
22. Manfred Mann: Mighty Quinn (Quinn the Eskimo)
23. Jorgen Ingmann: Apache
24. The Ronettes: Do I Love You
25. Herman’s Hermits: A Must to Avoid
26. Ritchie Valens: Donna
27. The Nashville Teens: Tobacco Road
28. Thurston Harris: Little Bitty Pretty One
29. The Champs: Tequila

This is a sequel of sorts to Choice of Colors, from many months back. Originally this was going to be simply a Blues collection, to be titled after the Bobby Vinton cut included herein, but I decided that this was sheer overkill. Speaking of sheer, the young lady in the picture is wearing hosiery by Alba; tinting by yours truly with as much mechanical assistance as possible.

Track listing for 111128-2:

1. David Bowie: Golden Years
2. Bobby Vinton: Blue on Blue
3. The Nightcrawlers: The Little Black Egg
4. The Browns: Scarlet Ribbons
5. The Rolling Stones: Paint It, Black
6. Jim Lowe: Green Door
7. Van Morrison: Brown-Eyed Girl
8. It’s a Beautiful Day: White Bird
9. Gary Lewis and the Playboys: Green Grass
10. Petula Clark: The Other Man’s Grass Is Always Greener
11. The Hollies: Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress
12. UB40: Red Red Wine
13. Madonna: True Blue
14. Clear Light: Black Roses
15. Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs: Li’l Red Riding Hood
16. Neil Diamond: Forever in Blue Jeans
17. Nick Drake: Pink Moon
18. The Marcels: Blue Moon
19. Brian Hyland: Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini
20. Cat Stevens: Bitterblue
21. The Doobie Brothers: Black Water
22. Yellow Balloon: Yellow Balloon
23. Sheb Wooley: The Purple People Eater
24. Ram Jam: Black Betty
25. The Lemon Pipers: Green Tambourine

Normally I don’t think of these as being “old-time,” but then I don’t think of myself as “old-time” either, and these songs, like me, date back fifty years or more. Mostly they come from the rhythm-and-blues side of things, though there are some pure-pop tunes sprinkled here or there for balance — or at least enough balance to justify not having to throw in any Eddie Fisher records, which were huge hits and which leave me cold as a cod. As for the young lady in the photo, I don’t think she’s really playing the piano: how could she work the pedals?

Track listing for 111127-2:

1. Wynonie Harris: Good Rockin’ Tonight
2. The Drifters: Money Honey
3. Ruth Brown: Mama He Treats Your Daughter Mean
4. The Chords: Sh-Boom
5. Anton Karas: The Third Man Theme
6. The Orioles: Crying in the Chapel
7. The ‘5′ Royales: Baby Don’t Do It
8. Faye Adams: Shake a Hand
9. Arthur Godfrey: Slap ‘er Down Again, Paw
10. The Crows: Gee
11. Johnny Maddox: The Crazy Otto
12. Elvis Presley: That’s All Right (Mama)
13. Ella Mae Morse: Oakie Boogie
14. Bill Haley and the Comets: Rock Around the Clock
15. Nappy Brown: Don’t Be Angry
16. Etta James: The Wallflower
17. The Four Lads: Istanbul (Not Constantinople)
18. The Penguins: Earth Angel
19. Les Paul and Mary Ford: How High the Moon
20. Little Walter: My Babe
21. The Moonglows: Sincerely
22. Fats Domino: Ain’t That a Shame
23. Julie London: Cry Me a River
24. Jimmy Forrest: Night Train
25. The Platters: The Great Pretender
26. Big Joe Turner: Shake, Rattle and Roll
27. Patti Page: Mister and Mississippi
28. Chuck Berry: Maybellene
29. The Spaniels: Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight

The hits, as they used to say on the radio, just keep on comin’. I can’t place this picture too accurately, but it does seem to look the part, and sometimes that’s all I need.

Track listing for 111126-2:

1. The Gants: Road Runner
2. Marvin Gaye: Ain’t That Peculiar
3. The Mamas and the Papas: Creeque Alley
4. The Edwin Hawkins Singers: Oh Happy Day
5. The Turtles: She’d Rather Be with Me
6. Sonny and Cher: The Beat Goes On
7. The Critters: Mr. Dieingly Sad
8. The Electric Prunes: Get Me to the World On Time
9. The Supremes: Back in My Arms Again
10. The Beatles: Get Back
11. Tommy Roe: Sweet Pea
12. Creedence Clearwater Revival: Proud Mary
13. San Remo Golden Strings: Hungry for Love
14. The Byrds: Eight Miles High
15. The Doors: Touch Me
16. ? and the Mysterians: I Need Somebody
17. Gary Lewis and the Playboys: Count Me In
18. The Guess Who: Shakin’ All Over
19. The Dells: There Is
20. The American Breed: Bend Me, Shape Me
21. Lee Dorsey: Ride Your Pony
22. The Fireballs: Bottle of Wine
23. Billy Stewart: I Do Love You
24. The Kingsmen: The Jolly Green Giant
25. The Four Tops: It’s the Same Old Song
26. Herman’s Hermits: Wonderful World
27. Raymond Lefevre: Soul Coaxing (Âme Caline)
28. I Know a Place: Petula Clark

The top 26 songs on radio station WTMA, Charleston, South Carolina, for the week ending 30 April 1966, and you can be sure I was listening that week: this was my station of choice during the years I lived in the Holy City. (If this sounds familiar, I’ve already done a similar disc from May 1967.) The cover art is a cut-down version of an actual WTMA “Tunedex” Top 40 chart, courtesy of station historian Ted Tatman. The first track is preceded by a brief WTMA jingle; a less-brief one follows the last.

Track listing for 111125-2:

1. Johnny Rivers: Secret Agent Man
2. The Righteous Brothers: (You’re My) Soul and Inspiration
3. Cher: Bang Bang
4. The Beach Boys: Sloop John B
5. The Olympics: Good Lovin’
6. The Mamas and the Papas: Monday, Monday
7. Paul Revere and the Raiders: Kicks
8. The Outsiders: Time Won’t Let Me
9. B. J. Thomas and the Triumphs: I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry
10. Petula Clark: A Sign of the Times
11. Percy Sledge: When a Man Loves a Woman
12. The Lovin’ Spoonful: Daydream
13. The Rolling Stones: 19th Nervous Breakdown
14. Len Barry: Somewhere
15. The Shadows of Knight: Gloria
16. Lou Christie: Rhapsody in the Rain
17. Dionne Warwick: Message to Michael
18. Ray Charles: Together Again
19. The Isley Brothers: This Old Heart of Mine (Is Weak for You)
20. The Yardbirds: Shapes of Things
21. Herman’s Hermits: Leaning on the Lamp Post
22. The Byrds: Eight Miles High
23. Elvis Presley: Frankie and Johnny
24. Nancy Sinatra: How Does That Grab You, Darlin’
25. Garnet Mimms: I’ll Take Good Care of You
26. Bob Dylan: Rainy Day Women #12 & 35

The sequel to the original One Word contains more songs with a title consisting of, yes, one word. The young lady’s hosiery, if I remember correctly, is Holeproof®. It is perhaps noteworthy that the two acts represented on both discs are Dee Dee Sharp and ZZ Top.

Track listing for 111124-2:

1. Frankie Valli: Grease
2. Major Lance: Rhythm
3. Jan and Dean: Popsicle
4. Heart: Barracuda
5. R.E.M.: Stand
6. The Guess Who: Laughing
7. Rupert Holmes: Him
8. Jim Croce: Operator
9. Dee Dee Sharp: Gravy
10. J. J. Cale: Cocaine
11. Three Dog Night: Liar
12. The Outsiders: Respectable
13. Blondie: Rapture
14. Herman’s Hermits: Dandy
15. The Sheppards: Tragic
16. ZZ Top: Legs
17. The McGuire Sisters: Sugartime
18. Earth, Wind and Fire: Evil
19. Kim Weston: Helpless
20. Desmond Dekker and the Aces: Israelites
21. David Bowie: Fame
22. The Toys: Attack
23. Brick: Dazz
24. Mary Hopkin: Goodbye

After scads of Rare Stereo, here’s some Not-Too-Common Mono, because the 45 version is way different from (or way shorter than) the LP track, or the stereo mix is missing something, or there’s never been a stereo mix, or it just flat sounds better in one-channel sound.

Track listing for 111123-2:

1. R. Dean Taylor: Indiana Wants Me
2. Strawberry Alarm Clock: Incense and Peppermints
3. Four Jacks and a Jill: Master Jack
4. Brian Hyland: Gypsy Woman
5. Crispian St. Peters: The Pied Piper
6. Five Man Electrical Band: Signs
7. The Toys: A Lover’s Concerto
8. The Innocence: There’s Got to Be a Word
9. B. J. Thomas: Hooked on a Feeling
10. Cream: White Room
11. Wadsworth Mansion: Sweet Mary
12. Archie Bell and the Drells: Tighten Up
13. Tin Tin: Toast and Marmalade for Tea
14. The Mamas and the Papas: I Saw Her Again
15. The Monkees: (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone
16. The Larks: The Jerk
17. J. J. Jackson: But It’s Alright
18. Merrilee Rush and the Turnabouts: Angel of the Morning
19. The Doors: Light My Fire
20. James Brown: It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World
21. Steppenwolf: Magic Carpet Ride
22. Kasenetz-Katz Singing Orchestral Circus: Quick Joey Small (Run Joey Run)
23. The Shocking Blue: Venus
24. Creedence Clearwater Revival: Bad Moon Rising *
25. Roy Head: Treat Her Right
26. Sagittarius: My World Fell Down
27. Edwin Starr: War

* Technically, this is a stereo mix, but it sure doesn’t sound like one.

Yep, here’s another one, and there’s at least one more in the can, assuming I can even find the can these days. The bisected young lady was hawking Fama garments in Italy some time around 1963.

Track listing for 111122-2:

1. The Rolling Stones: Mother’s Little Helper
2. Stevie Wonder: For Once in My Life
3. The Lovin’ Spoonful: Daydream
4. Brenda Lee: Is It True
5. Frank Sinatra: That’s Life
6. Jan and Dean: New Girl in School
7. Diana Ross and the Supremes: Reflections
8. The Yardbirds: Happenings Ten Years Time Ago
9. The Impressions: You Must Believe Me
10. The Grass Roots: Let’s Live for Today
11. Simon and Garfunkel: Scarborough Fair/Canticle
12. Marvin Gaye: I Heard It Through the Grapevine
13. Hugh Masekela: Grazing in the Grass
14. The 4 Seasons: Let’s Hang On!
15. The Beatles: Please Please Me
16. The Trashmen: Surfin’ Bird
17. The Amboy Dukes: Journey to the Center of the Mind
18. Petula Clark: Downtown
19. Brenton Wood: The Oogum Boogum Song
20. Jon and Robin: Do It Again (A Little Bit Slower)
21. The Dave Clark Five: Over and Over
22. Aretha Franklin: I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You)
23. Bee Gees: I’ve Gotta Get a Message to You
24. The Beau Brummels: Just a Little
25. The Bobby Fuller Four: I Fought the Law
26. Bobby Vee: Come Back When You Grow Up
27. Sandy Posey: I Take It Back
28. The Rascals: A Ray of Hope
29. Glen Campbell: Wichita Lineman

Well, you can, but if you’re the machine that programs most commercial radio stations today — and if you are, how are you reading this? — you’ve probably already been told not to, because there are people out there who will complain given the slightest provocation, and some of these are pretty darn slight. In an effort to convey this sort of discomfort, I swiped a cigarette ad (DuMaurier, if you care) and painted the actual cancer stick out of the scene.

Track listing for 111121-2:

1. ZZ Top: Tush
2. The Contours: First I Look at the Purse
3. Randy Newman: Short People
4. Tammy Wynette: Stand By Your Man
5. Ray Stevens: Ahab the Arab
6. Rex Allen, Jr.: Don’t Go Near the Indians
7. April Wine: If You See Kay
8. Ginny Arnell: Dumb Head
9. Joe Tex: Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)
10. Arthur Godfrey: Slap ‘er Down Again, Paw
11. Ian Thomas: Painted Ladies
12. Lesley Gore: That’s the Way Boys Are
13. Brute Force: King of Fuh
14. Bobby Goldsboro: Me Japanese Boy I Love You
15. Joanie Sommers: Johnny Get Angry
16. The Rolling Stones: Brown Sugar
17. 1910 Fruitgum Company: Indian Giver
18. Jerry Reed: Another Puff
19. The Crystals: He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)
20. The Dominoes: Sixty-Minute Man
21. Alan O’Day: Skinny Girls
22. The O’Kaysions: Girl Watcher
23. Ray Charles: Let’s Go Get Stoned
24. Sandy Posey: Born a Woman
25. Jimmy Soul: If You Wanna Be Happy
26. Randy Newman: Rednecks