Well, you can, but if you’re the machine that programs most commercial radio stations today — and if you are, how are you reading this? — you’ve probably already been told not to, because there are people out there who will complain given the slightest provocation, and some of these are pretty darn slight. In an effort to convey this sort of discomfort, I swiped a cigarette ad (DuMaurier, if you care) and painted the actual cancer stick out of the scene.

Track listing for 111121-2:

1. ZZ Top: Tush
2. The Contours: First I Look at the Purse
3. Randy Newman: Short People
4. Tammy Wynette: Stand By Your Man
5. Ray Stevens: Ahab the Arab
6. Rex Allen, Jr.: Don’t Go Near the Indians
7. April Wine: If You See Kay
8. Ginny Arnell: Dumb Head
9. Joe Tex: Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)
10. Arthur Godfrey: Slap ‘er Down Again, Paw
11. Ian Thomas: Painted Ladies
12. Lesley Gore: That’s the Way Boys Are
13. Brute Force: King of Fuh
14. Bobby Goldsboro: Me Japanese Boy I Love You
15. Joanie Sommers: Johnny Get Angry
16. The Rolling Stones: Brown Sugar
17. 1910 Fruitgum Company: Indian Giver
18. Jerry Reed: Another Puff
19. The Crystals: He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)
20. The Dominoes: Sixty-Minute Man
21. Alan O’Day: Skinny Girls
22. The O’Kaysions: Girl Watcher
23. Ray Charles: Let’s Go Get Stoned
24. Sandy Posey: Born a Woman
25. Jimmy Soul: If You Wanna Be Happy
26. Randy Newman: Rednecks